Take it.. I dare you .

THE ASSCLOWN TEST: How much of an assclown are you.

Question One:
You see a child crying, do you..
A: Ask what's wrong.
B: Comfort but ignore the kid after a few moments.
C: Laugh and point, and kick the child.

Question two:
You find a five dollar bill on the ground, and see a homeless guy nearby, do you..
A: Give it to him.
B: Pocket it and walk off.
C: Tear it up in front of him and scream, “Get a job!”

Question three:
Something is burning in the kitchen:
A: Go see what it is and take care of it.
B: Ignore it and go back to sleep.
C: Go see what it is and turn the heat up so it burns faster, then blame someone else.

Question four:
A stray kitten comes into the house, do you..
A: Pet it and feed it.
B: Feed it to the dog.
C: Shave it, paint it brown and use it like a football outside.

Question five:
Someone asks you to help them move furniture, there's free beer involved; do you..
A: Help them out and share the beer.
B: Drink all the beer yourself, then help, but complain about its hard work.
C: Take the beer and wait for them to get one end of the couch up, and bolt out the door.

Question six:
Someone gives you a dirty look, do you..
A: Ignore it, looks don't hurt.
B: Glare back.
C: Make them eat pavement.

Question seven:
Your given the divine power for a single act, what do you do?
A: Make the world better and happy.
B: Blow up all the evil people.
C: Start a heavy metal band.

Question eight:
How do you feel right now?

A: Happy but idle.
B: Dark and evil.
C: Like the president.

Question nine:
If you could do one thing, and get away with it; what would that be?
A: Fly a fighter jet
B: Start a underground bar/fight club.
C: Club a baby seal with a stop sign.

Question ten:
Sex?
A: Yes please. Someday if I'm good I'll find the right person.
B: With a human or a animal, and if it's an animal, is it dead?
C: I just had your mother, for the past five hours.

Question eleven:
Your in prison, what did you do?
A: Tax fraud/embezzlement.
B: Set someone/something on fire.
C: I shanked a man with his eyeglasses while picking his pocket and kicking him in the balls.

Question twelve:
Your given the chance to go to the moon, what do you do?
A: Take the chance for my country and for science.
B: Go, but quietly reprogram the ship to take me in orbit around the planet, time for a nap.
C: Go, and spray-paint my name across the face of it.

Question thirteen:
Coffee, tea or milk?
A: Coffee! Java is god.
B: Tea, sip sip my good man, I have a stick up my ass. Pip pop.
C: Milk, I'm a growing creature!

Question fourteen:
Someone tries to rob you, what do you do?
A: Give them my wallet,beg to not be hurt, then call the cops.
B: Fake give him my wallet, then punch his face in; and run like hell if he gets up.
C: Rob HIM. This is my street, punk.

Question fifteen:
Its dinner time at a restaurant, a friend of yours is paying; do you..
A: Order lightly and enjoy the conversation, then eat later that evening.
B: Order multiple things,but only eat a few bits of each; making the kitchen re do it several times.
C: Treat the place like an all you can eat buffet

Question sixteen:
What kind of drunk are you?
A: I only drink socially, and then in moderation.
B: I don't drink a lot but when I do, it's a good old throwdown party.
C: HULK SMASH!

Question seventeen:
You just got your first kiss, who was it from?
A: A grandparent or family member, I'm saving myself for marriage.
B: A girl/boy from school, it was awkward and kinda drool filled.
C: Your mother, or the dog if I'm drunk and have some peanut butter.

Question eighteen:
Something horrible happened just now, what was it?
A: A close friend died, they will be missed.
B: Someone got robbed next door/next block over.
C: I farted after pigging out at a all you can eat Mexican buffet, someone get a match.

Question nineteen:
Some people say poetry is the voice of the soul, what do you say?
A: Yes, it is perfect, in fact I love it and opera. The world of theater is great.
B: Eh, it's okay but don't expect me to quote anything from anyone famous.
C: I urinate on your frilly girl speak.

FINAL QUESTION:
Someone gives you the chance to maim, slaughter or pillage; but not all three. What do you do?
A: Maim; make people hurt like I do.
B: Slaughter: the less mouthbreathers the better.
C: Pillage, what's yours is mine and whats his is mine, its all mine!

Tally.
Mostly A's: Your a pansy ass, but you might be cool and or psycho if pushed over the edge. Fetch me a sandwich.
Mostly A's and B's: Your a hardass but your still a weeping candy boy when it counts, however your good in brawl as long as no one shanks you first.
Mostly A's and C's: You are seriously fucked in the head.. Make up your mind already as to what you are, a pansy or a bastard; you can't walk the line forever.
Mostly B's: Well on your way to becoming a bastard, but your not all there yet; keep an eye out for men in white coats.
Mostly B's and C's: Here we go! Your scum, and you like it. Grab some rum and lets watch something bloody and violent on TV.
Mostly C's: Hot damn, evil assery like you only comes along once in a while, welcome to the darkness.. Now get to work and spread it.